My Top 7 Choices for Hosting the Oscars

The shenanigans about this year’s Oscar ceremony happened way too quickly for me to get to comment on. The gist of it is: Brett Ratner, the producer said some stupid things; he apologized and later resigned; Eddie Murphy, the host, also pulled out; Brian Grazer was announced as the new producer.

By the time I finish typing this Grazer might have brought in a new host. Anyway, I’m kinda bummed that Murphy left. I don’t remember his glory days as a stand-up but the clips I've seen here and there still make me laugh out of context. And the writing team seemed inventive and funny. In any case, it’s all over now and Grazer is hard at work – I assume – trying to get a new host.

I’m not opposed to most of the names being thrown around the blogosphere: The Wiig/McCarthy duo, Billy Crystal, Jim Carrey, Hugh Jackman, or even the hilarious but admittedly far-fetched idea of The Muppets. I can see myself enjoying a show hosted by any of them. Ben Stiller isn’t up there for me since I don’t really like the bits he’s done on stage in the past couple of years but he’s talented in several different areas, so what do I know?

With that in mind, here’s a list of my top seven choices for hosting the Oscars. From my mouth to Brian Grazer’s ears: 

Neil Patrick Harris opening the 82nd Academy Awards

7- Neil Patrick Harris

The obvious choice. He’ll get to host the show at some point I’m sure, so why not now? He’s charming; he’s funny; he can put on a show; he can sing and dance; plus, he’s been there before with a few musical numbers and he’s successfully hosted the Tony’s and the Emmy’s. I can’t see a single person objecting to him.

 

6- Stephen Colbert

His humour might be a little too edgy and political for Oscar’s taste but he’s arguably the funniest man on TV. Sometimes outsiders are better suited for this job than showbiz folks and if the producers want to get a non-actor, who better than Colbert?

5- Tina Fey and Steve Carell

Every time they went on the stage together, they knocked it out of the park. They’ve got such great chemistry together. Unlike a duo like Black and Ferrell who are only funny in small dozes but not enough to sustain a whole show, they’ve already proven that they can elevate any material and hold it together for a couple of hours. Seriously, think of another couple who could shine in a contrived, bloated and otherwise dull comedy like Date Night! Couldn't find one? I thought so.

4- Meryl Streep (with Tracey Ullman or Lily Tomlin)

Probably the most popular actress in the industry. We already know she can be hilarious and she’s always a lively presence at awards shows. Both Ullman and Tomlin have great chemistry with her and would be amazing co-hosts, but I would go with Ullman because she might just show us her tits!

3- Louis CK

He’s not exactly the type that the Academy would go for and I’m not sure he’s the type to accept the gig if they offered it to him. That said, I think he’s the funniest stand-up comedian currently working and if that can’t be enough to put on a good show, I don’t know what can.

Craig Ferguson with his robot Geoff Peterson

2- Craig Ferguson (with Geoff Peterson)

Ferguson’s consistently hilarious. Every damn night! He also has the experience of hosting the White House Correspondent’s Dinner which houses a much, much tougher crowd than the Oscars. If he gets to host the show, it will undoubtedly be the funniest show in years.  The robot sidekick is just icing on the cake.

1- Kevin Spacey

A natural and genuine showman. Charming, charismatic and dapper. He knows everyone in the industry, is well liked all around and he can easily run the show. He’s a real movie star and the experience of Hugh Jackman at this job proves that getting a real star is the way to go. Spacey’s the perfect combination of all the things that the biggest award show of the year needs.